


Life, or Something Like It

by wallflowerxiii



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Hinata is a closet chef, Long Get-Together Fic, Lots of Cursing, M/M, The first of many installments, what have I done?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-06
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-16 14:06:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3491147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wallflowerxiii/pseuds/wallflowerxiii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>College!AU Hinata had been excited about college. Really, really excited. Until he found out he’d be sharing his dorm with his long-time rival and bane of his existence, Kageyama Tobio.</p><p>UPDATE: Chapter 2--In retrospect, declaring an all-out prank war on his homicidal roommate was probably not one of Hinata’s brightest ideas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I haven't seen you (since that time I hoped I'd never see you again)

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: So these were SUPPOSED to be series of long, episodic one-shots set in the same universe...but I changed my mind and decided to make it a multi-chapter fic...*grins*. I messed with the high school teams because in this universe our favorite teams aren’t formed until college. Okay, let's be honest, I messed with a lot of things...Also, titles are borrowed from Someecards. This is my very first AO3 fic, so please have mercy on my poor writing. (Also changed the working title to a now permanent one....)

-

Filling out the Roommate Questionnaire for his dorm had been relatively easy for Hinata.

Year? Freshman.

Interests/Hobbies/Extracurriculars? Volleyball, duh.

What did he look for in an ideal roommate? Well, someone who didn’t mind his tendency to be a tad messy at times. Someone who had a high tolerance for hyperactiveness? Wait, was that even a word? Hmm, someone who would maybe be into doing fun things together, like going to parties and going out to eat and meeting new people! Those were his favorite things to do! OH, and of course, volleyball. It would be so cool if he roomed with someone who shared his same passion for the sport. That would be _awesome_.

When Hinata had received his acceptance letter from Karasuno University in the mail earlier that May, he could have cried from the sheer joy and relief that overcame him as he ripped the envelope to shreds to reveal those all-too-glorious words: _Dear Hinata Shouyou, we are pleased to inform you…_

The eighteen-year-old had whooped loudly several times, causing his younger sister to march out of her bedroom to see what all of the ruckus was about. When she tried to inform him to please keep it down, because she was kind of in the middle of watching her favorite K-drama, Hinata had swept her off her feet and twirled her around the living room until the both of them were bursting into peels of joyful laughter.

“I did it, Natsu-chan! I did it!!”

“Did what, you giant oaf? And put me down!”

“KARASUNO UNIVERISTY!!!”

Hinata had waited years for this moment. Seven to be exact. It had been his long, sought-after dream since childhood to attend the same university that the “Little Giant” had gone to years before. Despite his height, the well-known volleyball star had dominated in the NCAA Men’s National Collegiate Volleyball Championship and quickly became one of the most famous players in the history of the game.

Junior high school had been hard on Hinata. His father had just passed away from cancer, and he made a promise to himself to be the man of the house for his mom and little sister. It was then when he first saw him, the “Little Giant.” He remembered pressing his young, chubby face so close to the electronic store window that he could see his breath fanning out onto the glass, upsetting the store manager inside. But he didn’t care. What he was witnessing had to be some sort of a miracle.

When the ball was tossed to him, the “Little Giant” didn’t just jump to spike it…he _flew_.

That was when Hinata decided that there was nothing in the world that he wanted to do more—to fly, to soar higher than anyone else.

Height, be damned.

Every day he would practice. His junior high school didn’t have an official male volleyball team, so he started one on his own and forced his best friends to join and practice with him when they weren’t busy with their other clubs. He even practiced with the girl’s team when his friends were off doing their own chosen extracurricular clubs.  

It wasn’t enough, though. During their very first match, his ragtag team was demolished during the very first round. It wasn’t as though he expected them to get very far in the tournament, in fact, he was happy to even get the chance to play in a real match. But that was also the day…

_“Apparently he can throw accurate tosses from any position!”_

_“He has amazing skills but, god; I wouldn’t want to be one of his teammates--”_

_“They call him a genius--”_

_“—but he’s earned the name King of the Court.”_

_…The day he met his rival._

_Crossed arms, haughty expression. Dark, calculating eyes staring him down. “The one standing on the winning side of the court will always be me.”_

_Hearing the whistle to indicate the end of the match and feeling the unmistakable weight of defeat, causing his muscles and bones to resemble lead. He didn’t want to look up, didn’t want to see the final score of the match. But then fast movement from the other side of the net startled him to look up and meet those same irate, dark eyes. The other boy’s hand gripped the net in anger. “What have you been doing for the past 3 years?!”_

_Frustrated tears threatening to spill as he stood on top of the stairs so that they could be eye to eye, shouting his declaration. “I’ll overthrow you from your title, and I’ll be the one who stands on the court the longest!”_

God, he hated that asshole.

Since that first match in junior high, their teams in high school had gone head-to-head too many times to count. Practice matches, training camps, rematches…their rivalry became well-known among the other high school teams. One didn’t mention the “king” without also mentioning that one short kid with red hair-

Well, his nickname on the court was still a work-in-progress. Obviously.

Kageyama had gone to Kitagawa Daiichi, their volleyball team made famous by their other setter, Oikawa Tooru, who Kageyama later replaced during his 3rd year as captain.

Hinata had gone to Yukigaoka, whose team was relatively strong due to his two best friends, Kuroo and Kenma who united the team with their level-headed and strategic thinking. It was with this team that Hinata became the well-rounded and skilled player he was today. When they both graduated, Hinata had initially struggled to pull the team together as the 3rd year captain, but eventually by the time Nationals came around they had lost to Kitagawa  Daiichi by a mere two points in a tie-breaking 3rd set.

That was months ago, but Hinata was still not over it.

They had been _so close_.

Ugh, he wasn’t going to let the bad memories ruin this momentous occasion. After all, HE HAD JUST BEEN ACCEPTED INTO UNIVERSITY. _KARASUNO UNIVERSITY_.

He could die happy.

Briefly, he wondered where his asshole rival would be going for university, but then quickly shrugged off the thought. Wherever the so-called “king” chose, Hinata would be there on the other side of the net waiting to spike the ball into his dumb, smug face.

-

The dorm was actually a lot more spacious than he had prepared for. Hinata had been expecting the basic shared room, shared bathroom set-up with two beds on opposite sides of the room.

Instead, the entrance of the dorm immediately led to an open kitchen area and spacious living room. There was a door to the right that led to the bathroom, and he assumed the two main doors that connected to the living room were the bedrooms.

Thank God for his athletic scholarship. There was no way he could’ve gotten a room like this as a normal, incoming freshman.

“Hey, Onii-chan! Some boxes are already here. Looks like your new roommate has already moved in!” His sister called out from the living room.

A spark of excitement lit within him. His new roommate! The guy he’d be living with! And spending most of his time with! And watching TV and cooking with and hopefully playing volleyball with-

Barely able to contain his eagerness, he chose one of the bedroom doors on whim before bounding towards it and slamming it open, already yelling his enthusiastic greeting, “HELLOOOO----AHHHH!!”

He was stopped mid-yell at the sight that greetedhim.

No.

No, it couldn’t be.

All-too familiar black hair. Tall, menacing height.  Dark eyes already twisted into a trademark angry, disgruntled glare. WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON.

“OH FUCK NO. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!” Hinata screamed in terror.

A volleyball flew straight at him and smacked him right in the face. “Shut the fuck up, dumbass!”

“Ow! Ow! _Owwwww_ , you fucking jerk!”

_“Language, boys!”_

Hinata barely registered his sister’s voice as he was still glued to his spot, rubbing his forehead in pain as he stared down his new roommate with wide eyes filled with horror. “Who-What?! I mean--! Ugh— _Explain yourself_!!” The redhead exclaimed, waving his finger dramatically at the boy in front of him.

“I think it should be fairly obvious,” Kageyama responded dryly. From the looks of it, the other boy had been in the middle of putting together his bed before he was rudely interrupted. Wooden bed pieces and tools were strewn about him haphazardly.

At that, Hinata became even more confused. Was it true? Did this mean they were… roommates!? Kageyama was his ROOMMATE?! He had to live with this asshole for the next year? And more importantly, why wasn’t Bakayama as shocked as he was?

“Because I’m actually smart enough to check my e-mail, dumbass.”

Wait, had he just spoken out loud just then?

“Yes, you do that a lot, Onii-chan,” Natsu spoke from behind him. She peaked into the room over Hinata’s shoulder, who had stopped wagging his finger accusingly at the dark-haired boy in favor of glaring upwards towards the ceiling as if to ask the gods why. “Oh, hello, Kageyama-kun.”

Natsu was quite familiar with the taller boy, due to the many times she had seen him play her brother in the past.

She received a polite grunt in response. Undeterred, the redheaded female stepped into the room, glancing around as she did so before resting her eyes back on Kageyama who had returned his attentions back to building his bed frame. “So, there was an e-mail you say?”

“The university sent out our roommate matches over two weeks ago,” Kageyama responded, twirling a screwdriver in his hand absentmindedly. “When I found out I was matched with dumbass over there, I tried complaining to the university housing department. But, they can’t do anything unless one of us does something illegal to break our athletic scholarship agreements or if we were to partake in activities that the school deems ‘heinously inappropriate’,” he paused, throwing a smirk at the redheaded boy who met his gaze and stuck his tongue out in response, “I give you a week.”

“Excuse me,” Hinata started, raising a hand to his chest and ready to defend his honor, when his sister smacked him lightly across the head to stop him. He shot her a look that said betrayal as he cradled his head, pouting.

She ignored him and continued on. “What would happen if one of you did manage to break the rules and get kicked out of the room?”

Kageyama shrugged. “I’m guessing that person would lose their scholarship and get dumped in one of those tiny freshmen dorms. You know, the ones where you have to share a bathroom with fifty other guys.”

All three of them shivered in disgust at the idea.

“Well, it’s clear what’s going to need to happen, then,” Natsu stated as she looked from one boy to the other, her voice developing a no-nonsense tone. “You both are going to put your stupid rivalry behind you and get along. _You are going to be civil to one another_ , whether you like it or not, and you both are going to _behave_. Got it?”

As she spoke her voice became louder and more serious, and by the time she was done, her older brother was cowering behind one of the moving boxes and Kageyama was staring at her with something akin to fear in his eyes.

“You used to be so nice when you were younger, Natsu-chan. What happened?” Hinata whined from his hiding spot.

“I’m not going to let the two of you ruin this opportunity for each other by acting like idiots. Now, come on. We still have boxes to unload from the car. Kageyama-kun, thank you so much for volunteering to help! Let’s go!” And with that she practically pranced out of the room, and Hinata for sure was not imagining the satisfied smirk on her face as she did so.

The two boys glared at each other for a long moment before resignedly following after her.

And to think Hinata was actually excited for college. Could his life get any worse?

-

Sharing the bathroom was going to be a problem, Hinata realized.

After blearily waking up to the sound of his alarm for the fourth time after hitting the snooze button again and again, the redhead groaned mournfully in protest before finally lifting himself up and out of the bed, almost toppling to the floor in the process after getting tangled in the sheets.

He sluggishly opened his bedroom door and dragged his feet across the living room floor until reaching the bathroom, where the light was already on and the sounds of running water could be heard from the other side of the door.

“Kageyamaaaaaa, I need to pee!” Hinata whined through the crack in the door.

“You should’ve woken up earlier, dumbass!” Came the muffled response from inside the bathroom.

“Come onnnn!”

“Wait your turn!”

Hinata banged his fists against the door several times, before conceding defeat, and slid down until he was sitting with his back against the door. He shoved his head against his knees and muttered obscenities to distract himself from the ever-growing need to relieve his bladder.

This was it. This was how Kageyama finally managed to kill him. Death by bladder.

Just when he thought he couldn’t hold on for any longer, the bathroom door suddenly opened causing him to comically fall backwards onto the bathroom tile. His hazel eyes glared up at the dark ones staring down at him. “I could have died, Kageyama!”

He scrambled up from the floor and immediately headed towards the toilet.

“Don’t be dramatic.”

“Are you really going to keep standing there while I piss?” Hinata shouted in response, not even turning to look at the black-haired boy as he exited the bathroom.

“You’re going to be late for practice, dumbass.”

Practice? He heard the door to the dorm open and shut close. And suddenly it hit him—today was his first day of practice with the Karasuno University volleyball team! And then a feeling of dread slowly overcame him. Today was his first day of practice with Kageyama _fucking_ Tobio as his teammate.

Dear life, when he asked if his life could get any worse, he meant it as a rhetorical question and not as a challenge.

-

Twenty minutes later, Hinata was throwing open the gym doors, practically falling over himself in his enthusiasm. Several heads turned to look at the cause of the loud entrance, only to be met with a wild, beaming grin.

From somewhere on the other side of the gym, someone muttered. “Oh, here we go.”

“Hinata Shouyou, freshman, middle blocker slash wing spiker slash ace extraordinaire! Reporting for duty!” The redheaded boy gave a mock salute to the rest of the team, most of who broke out into knowing smiles at his antics.

Almost everyone was familiar with the newest additions to their team. Though he didn’t realize it, Hinata was just as well known as his rival. Anyone who has seen one of his matches wouldn’t be able to forget the short redhead and his raw energy and skill on the court, especially the way he could speed passed his opponents and jump higher than his height should possibly allow him to. However despite his natural talents, he remained a wild card, never consistent with his attacks, yet always finding someway to persevere and surprise his opponents.

“Wait, so are you telling me that we got both of them?”

Sawamura Daichi, senior and captain of the team, moved his speculative gaze from the short redhead who was now excitedly greeting the rest of the members to the vice-captain smiling curiously next to him. “Honestly, I don’t know whether this is a good thing or a bad thing.”

Sugawara laughed, shaking his head when he caught sight of Hinata attempting to chuck a stray ball at the back of the prodigy’s head when he wasn’t looking. “I have a feeling that we’re going to have our work cut out for us.”

They watched as Kageyama narrowly dodged the ball flying at him, before advancing menacingly towards the shorter boy, head bowed so that he could lean down and properly yell at him.

“That’s what you get for hogging the bathroom this morning, Bakayama!” Hinata yelled, index finger jabbing the taller boy in the chest.

“That’s your fault for not waking up early enough, dumbass!” Kageyama retorted, flicking the redhead in the forehead.

“I would’ve woken up earlier if my alarm clock had gone off on time!”

“Your alarm clock went off _four fucking times._ Lay off the snooze button!”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did my alarm awaken you from your beauty sleep, _your majesty_?”

Kageyama’s face twisted into an even scarier expression, but before the argument could escalate even further, Sawamura placed himself between the two and put his hands on both of their shoulders. “Kageyama-kun. Hinata-kun. Are we going to have a problem with the both of you on our team?”

Their eyes widened in fear at the added honorifics, and they both shook their heads quickly. Hinata’s instinct was to try and back away, but Sawamura’s hands tightened on their shoulders. His face was smiling, but his entire being was exuding a scary aura of authority.

“Good. That’s good to hear. So how about we start practice without any further distractions? Sound good?” The captain patted them hard on their backs, and Hinata almost fell over at the strength of it.

“Yes, captain!” They responded in unison.

When the senior turned away from them, Hinata took the opportunity to stick his tongue out at the taller boy next to him, who roughly shoved him in response. But as promised, they didn’t go any further than that.

“Did I overhear correctly?” Tanaka, a junior that Hinata remembered playing back in high school, asked as he came up beside them. “Don’t tell me the two of you are roommates?”

Hinata could have cried at the question. “I’m still in denial.”

Kageyama huffed next to him and didn’t respond.

Tanaka threw his head back in laughter. “What are the chances! That’s some luck!” The members of the team nearby who overheard looked at the two freshmen in pity. Nishinoya, another junior, came up behind Hinata, practically jumping on top of him. “Shouyou! Don’t you worry, your senpai will protect you from his evil clutches!”

Hinata grinned brightly, turning around so that they could face each other. “I can’t believe we get to be on the same team, Nishinoya-senpai! It is such an honor,” he sniffed and looked close to tears. The redhead still remembered the feeling of awe and amazement when he first saw the libero in action during his first year of high school. He greatly admired the way he could dive and receive even the most difficult serves and spikes.

After his team in high school had lost against Nishinoya’s in a practice match, Hinata had gone over to the shorter boy, raving about what he had seen. _“And then the way you dove after that ball! It was like “gwah”! And then you were like “fwoooosh”! It was so coooool!”_ Nishinoya hadn’t hesitated to puff out his chest and declare the younger boy as his newest disciple, despite them being on opposing teams. They became fast friends after that.

While the two shortest members of the team clutched each others hands and stared at one another dramatically, Kageyama rolled his eyes and muttered to himself, “Evil clutches? Really?”

“Ahhh, how unlucky,” a bored voice said from beside him.

Kageyama turned and immediately groaned internally when he caught sight of the tall, glasses-wearing sophomore.

“Our team is really going to suffer dealing with the two of you idiots,” Tsukishima sighed. “The King and his...royal jester?” The blonde pretended to look thoughtful as he contemplated the nickname and ignored the evil glare that Hinata sent his way.

“It’s a work-in-progress, okay?!”

“I would literally pay money for someone to make a reality show documenting this living arrangement,” Yamaguchi, another sophomore player, remarked from beside him. When he caught sight of Kageyama’s dark expression, he laughed nervously and hid behind the taller blonde.

“It would be like the Real World except without the hot girls to keep it interesting,” Tanaka added, laughing at the idea.

“But then what would be the point in watching it?” Nishinoya commented, taking a short break from gushing over his precious kohai.

“So that we could take bets on how long it would take the two idiots before they kill one another,” Tsukishima said with a small smirk.

Hinata looked thoughtful. “Can I place a bet on myself?”

Sawamura shook his head at his team’s antics and decided it was about high time that they continued on with practice. “Okay, guys! Enough fooling around!”

“Why don’t we take a quick moment to reacquaint our new members with the rest of the team?” Sugawara proposed, smiling as everyone gathered in a half-huddle around him.

Hinata let out a happy “whoop!” at the idea. He was already familiar with most of the members, having either played them at some point in high school or heard of them in passing, but he was excited to be formally introduced to them as his newest team members.

There was Nishinoya-senpai and Tanaka-senpai. And ooooh, there was Asahi-senpai, too! His spikes were legendary!

He was practically jumping in place as he looked around at everyone. The happiness of having the opportunity to work with such an awesome team was almost enough to make him forget Bakayama and his stupid face and their stupid living arrangement. He wasn’t about to let the grumpy freshman ruin his college experience!

“Is he aware that he is speaking out loud?” Yamaguchi whispered to Tsukishima, who merely shrugged.

“So for our seniors we have Azumane Asahi, our ace; Suwamara Daichi, your team captain and wing spiker; and me, Sugawara Koushi, your vice-captain and setter. You may call me Suga if you’d like,” the lean, light-haired boy said, gesturing to the respective team members before pointing at himself.

“Our junior members are Tanaka Ryuunosuke, our other wing spiker; Nishinoya Yuu, our libero,” the two waved and bowed comically acting as though they were beauty pageant contestants, “Ennoshita Chikara, wing spiker; Kinoshita Hisachi, another wing spiker; and, Narita Kazuhito, a middle-blocker,” Suga continued. Hinata smiled and gave a small wave to the last three mentioned as he had never met them before, while Kageyama merely nodded at them all in acknowledgement.

“And lastly for our sophomores we have Tsukishima Kei, middle blocker; and, Yamaguchi Tadashi, middle blocker,” he finished and turned to look back at the freshmen.

“And while I’m sure most of us are familiar with our two newest members, why don’t you guys formally introduce yourselves to the team?”

Hinata looked expectantly at Kageyama first, but when the other boy didn’t seem willing to speak up, the redhead happily bounced forward. “Hi, I’m Hinata Shouyou! I was captain of Yukigaoka High School last year and like I said before, I’ve played a variety of different positions, so I’m pretty versatile,” he grinned when Nishinoya gave him a thumbs up, “I may be short, but I’m really fast and I can jump super high!” He raised a hand far above his head to show them. “I’m very excited to be playing with all of you, please take care of me.” He bowed respectfully and nudged the boy next to him with his elbow.

Kageyama grumbled at him, but followed in his lead. “My name is Kageyama Tobio. I’m a setter. Please take care of me.” He bowed after his introduction and ignored Hinata when the other boy made a face at the briefness.

“Now I know both of you have your...differences, but for the sake of the team, I’m hoping the two of you will do your best to put those behind you and work together, okay?” Suwamara looked from one boy to the other, “Or there will be consequences…”

Hinata gulped nervously at the unspoken threat. He was suddenly reminded of his sister.

Disregarding the scary aura his captain was emanating, Suga gave the freshmen a welcoming smile, “It’s good to have you guys. Welcome to the team!” The rest of the members repeated after him with varying degrees of excitement. Tanaka whooped, while Tsukishima muttered under his breath.

“Now, let’s start practice!”

“OSU!”

_

But of course, as Murphy’s Law suggests, anything that can go wrong--will go wrong.

Now, Hinata knew that serves weren’t necessarily his strong suit. He had maybe a fifty-fifty accuracy rate…which was actually a big improvement to how he was at the beginning of his volleyball career. But that was why he was practicing them to begin with! And if anything, it was Kageyama’s fault for being so damn tall and getting in the damn way with his big, stupid head!

“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU.”

“Have mercy on my poor, mortal soul!”

After serving the ball directly into the back of Kageyama’s head, Hinata immediately began running the opposite direction screaming bloody murder. The dark-haired setter was in hot pursuit, chasing after him whilst yelling profanities.

“I’m too young to die! Who will pay the other half of the rent if you kill me?!” Hinata shouted over his shoulder as he jumped over a stray volleyball and zig-zagged his way through several bodies in his attempt to escape.

“I’m willing to make that sacrifice, you little shit!”Kageyama bellowed as he shoved passed a poor bystander standing in his way.

The other team members paused what they were doing to watch the ridiculous spectacle. The nimble redhead had just hurtled over a crate of volleyballs, when Kageyama decided to grab one of them and use his genius-level accuracy to chuck it straight at the shorter boy’s head in vengeance. Hinata looked behind just in time to see the ball coming straight towards him so he used his super fast reflexes to dive out of the way.

Everyone watched in horror as the lightning fast ball flew across the gym and smacked Coach Ukai, who had just come in, right in the face. Professor Takeda, who had also just arrived, gasped in fright. Suwamara’s face darkened, while Suga looked upwards in silent prayer on everyone’s behalf. No one else dared to move as they watched their coach stagger, clutching his face in pain.

“MOTHERFUCKE---!!!!”

Professor Takeda blushed at the string of obscenities that flew out of the coach’s mouth, and rubbed the back of his head nervously. His bespectacled eyes sought out the captain and motioned for him to handle the situation as he cautiously ushered the enraged man out of the gym. “Now, now, Ukai-san, we can’t just joke about murdering our students with our bare hands, heh..heh…”

When the two adults exited the gym, everyone turned to look at the captain who seemed to have developed an even darker and more foreboding aura about him. When his shadowed face looked up and he locked his eyes on the two shamefaced freshmen, Hinata knew he was done for.

Before he knew it, he was getting grabbed by his shirt collar and tossed out of the gym. Kageyama getting shoved out right after him.

“No matter how excellent you are of a player, or how willing you are to prove yourself, if you guys can’t work together as teammates then we have NO USE FOR YOU ON OUR TEAM. DON’T COME BACK UNTIL YOU’VE GOT YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.”

_SLAM._

-

“But, Kenma! You don’t understand! He is seriously going to kill me,” Hinata whined into his cell phone. After getting kicked out of practice indefinitely, the redhead was too frightened to return to his dorm where he was likely to run into his roommate. He was currently hiding at a local coffee shop, hazel eyes darting about him frantically to make sure that he was safe.

 _“I highly doubt that, Shouyou,”_ his best friend and former teammate responded calmly. The laidback sophomore had accepted his offer to attend Nekokama University, along with their other friend Kuroo. But Hinata made sure to keep in touch with them whenever he could.

“You weren’t there! You didn’t see! How am I going to sleep at night knowing that he could sneak into my room at any moment and murder me in my sleep?”

_“Just try having a civil conversation with him.”_

“The words civil and Kageyama don’t go together,” Hinata huffed. “And what did the captain mean by ‘suspended indefinitely’?”

 _“It means that you guys needs to prove that you can work as a team before the captain lets you come back to practice,”_ Kenma responded.

Hinata let out a huge sigh of protest. “You know I had a good, long run with my volleyball career. It’s such a shame that it had to end so soon.”

Kenma laughed softly on the other line. _“It’s just a silly rivalry, Shouyou. It has been how many years now? You guys are in university now, things are different.”_

But were things different? Hinata had hated this guy since middle school. Ever since the other boy beat him during his first match and called him weak and pathetic. He’d spent years trying to prove him wrong. Could being on the same team in college really change anything?

 _“Think about it this way. If you don’t somehow resolve this, that means no more volleyball for either of you. And that means you’ll never get to play our team. And I know you’ve been dying to play against Kuroo and me since we graduated,”_ Kenma added persuasively.

“Wahhh, you’re right.” It always came back to volleyball for Hinata. “You know me too well.”

_“Little good it’s done me.”_

“Hey!” The redhead whined as his friend laughed.

_“I’ve got to go. I’ll tell Kuroo you said ‘hi’.”_

“Nooo, don’t leave me to handle my own problems,” he cried helplessly. If Kenma were with him, he’d latch onto his arm and not let go until he got his way.

_“I trust you not to screw this one up. Bye, Shouyou.”_

Hinata hung up and stared down at his cell with a look of betrayal. How could his best friend just leave him like this in his moment of need? He groaned internally just thinking about having to return back to his dorm and face his roommate, but it didn’t look like he had any other choice.

“Okay, Shouyou, this is what you’re going to do. You’re going to go home. You’re going to raid your fridge and prepare some dinner. You’re going to invite your evil, sadistic roommate to eat with you and win him over with your charming personality. And then, you are going to get both him and yourself back on the volleyball team, whether he likes it or not. Okay? Okay. Osu!”

After his little pep talk to himself, Hinata let out a small cheer and got up from his table, grabbing his backpack and ignoring all of the weird looks he was receiving from the other cafe patrons.

-

The first thing Hinata did when he arrived at his dorm was check for signs to see if his roommate was home. After closing the front door behind him, he leaned down near the ground to see if he could spot a light coming from the other boy’s bedroom.

Yep, well, he was definitely home if that light was any indication.

Hinata tried not to focus too much on the feeling of anxiety that sparked within him, and instead decided to focus his attentions on starting dinner. The shared living area had yet to be furnished and was relatively empty except for two barstools by the kitchen counter that he assumed Kageyama had brought from home as well as a few scattered moving boxes. He deposited his backpack next to one of the barstools and headed towards the refrigerator.

Before she left, Natsu had gone grocery shopping and from the looks of it, stocked the entirety of the fridge to full capacity. From fresh vegetables and fruit to meat cut-outs in the freezer, he grinned knowing that he would be eating well for the next week or so. When his sister wasn’t busy bossing him around, she was practically godsend.

It was a little known fact that Hinata liked to cook. Well, _liked_ was an understatement. Hinata loved cooking and he was _damn_ good at it, too.

Ever since his dad passed away, his mom had to work overtime more often than not, so Hinata had to learn to take care of his younger sister in her absence; which meant cooking, cleaning, taking her to school, helping her with homework and so on. Not that he really minded--he had loved his little sister since the first time his mom let him carry her at the hospital and she gurgled in his tiny arms.

Since then, Hinata learned that he loved experimenting with different types of foods, always trying to make a recipe even better than the time he made it before. Natsu was always the first person to try his crazy experimentations in the kitchen and when she was old enough to talk, declared herself his official food taste tester.

The fact that she took the time to stock the fridge, and even the pantry, warmed his heart to the core. He made a mental note to himself to call her later that night and thank her for her thoughtfulness.

Staring into the fridge, he contemplated what he could whip up for him and his roommate. If his goal was to win over the other boy, Hinata knew that his cooking would be the only way to do it. Kageyama was a guy, after all. You could always win over a guy with food.

An hour later, he was already adding the chopped potatoes and carrots into the curry that was currently simmering in a pot on the stove. The delicious, spicy aroma filled the kitchen and made the empty dorm almost feel like home. His phone was softly playing music in the background, an upbeat American song that had him swinging his slim hips to the beat as he sang along under his breath.

_“Lady, running down to the riptide. Taken away to the dark side, I wanna be your left hand man.”_

The redhead was so lost in his own world, he didn’t see his roommate’s bedroom door open or said roommate walking towards him until he felt the uncomfortable, prickling feeling of eyes on him, and he turned around so suddenly that he screamed bloody murder when he found himself face-to-face with the dark-haired boy--deep, cobalt eyes glaring down at him.

“WHAT THE FUCK! Don’t just sneak up on people!” Hinata yelled, brandishing the wooden spoon he had been using to stir as a sort of makeshift weapon.

Kageyama rolled his eyes and took a few steps back to give the redhead some space. “Sorry…”

Hinata huffed at him, turning his attentions back to the stove. “Yeah, you better be sorry. Here I am trying to be a good roommate and cook the both of us some dinner, and then you go and try to give me a heart attack.”

When the other boy remained silent, Hinata turned back to him curiously only to be met with a confused expression. “Dinner...for...both of us?”

The redhead blushed at the implication, and stuttered trying to give an appropriate response, “Yes-well, I-uh...I thought that maybe we could-I don’t know, like try to...act civilly,” he almost spat out the word, “...to one another. So, that the captain will let us back on the team. And we can play. And-and...yeah. Don’t get any ideas! This is just a-a...peace offering!”

Kageyama blinked at him, his face losing it’s usual grumpy expression, which actually made him look a lot younger and more appealing, maybe what some girls would call attractive, but definitely not a look that Hinata was used to seeing. And he had to force himself to avert his gaze so he wasn’t gawking at the other boy.

“That sounds...reasonable,” Kageyama finally responded, looking uncomfortable and maybe even a little sheepish as he scratched at the side of face while staring pointedly at the ground next to him.

There was a brief stretch of awkward silence, which felt like years to Hinata, before he gestured at the other boy to start setting up the placemats. “I’m almost done here, and the rice is already finished cooking. So you can start setting up the plates and stuff?”

The dark-haired boy nodded and started moving about the kitchen, opening cabinets and drawers to collect the dishes and silverware. He cleared the counter area and started placing everything in its appropriate place. Hinata watched him from the corner of his eye and couldn’t process the strangeness of it all.

Here he was, cooking dinner for Kageyama Tobio, of all people. While the “King of the Court” was setting up the table? What was going on? When was he going to wake up from this...domestic nightmare?

He switched off the stove with one hand and with the other he reached up into one of the cabinets and grabbed a serving bowl to place the curry in. When the stew was carefully deposited into the serving dish, the redhead turned around and almost jumped in place when he caught the taller boy regarding him with his calculating, cobalt eyes.

“Umm...hope you like curry?” Hinata said awkwardly, approaching the counter and placing the dish in between both of their plates. He placed himself on one of the stools and watched as the other boy did the same beside him.

God, this was so awkward.

Hinata gulped nervously and started filling his plate and gestured for Kageyama to do the same. They both said ‘thank you’ for the food and started eating. Hinata didn’t know why, but he was actually nervous to see what the other boy would think about the food and tried not to blatantly stare at him as he took a bite.

Kageyama chewed slowly and swallowed, his eyes widening in surprise as he darted his gaze to the redhead who was pretending not to stare at him expectantly. “This…is...really good…”

“Really?! You think so?” Hinata responded excitedly, beaming at the boy next to him.

“I didn’t know you cooked…” Kageyama responded awkwardly as he continued to eat.

“Well, I had to learn because when my dad died, my mom had to work all the time and so it was mostly just me and Natsu when we were younger,” Hinata explained quickly in between bites, “I guess I just had a lot of practice cooking for the both of us since then. And it’s actually a lot of fun! You know, if I hadn’t gotten into volleyball, maybe I could’ve been a chef! Wouldn’t that have been cool?” He laughed to himself, “But then I guess we wouldn’t be rivals then, huh?”

Hinata looked over at Kageyama who had curiously paused in his eating to stare at the redhead with an inscrutable look, causing him to start laughing nervously. “Umm, what? What is it?”

The dark-haired boy furrowed his brows and turned back to his food. “You shouldn’t talk so much while you eat, you might choke on your food…or something.”

Hinata smirked slyly and nudged him lightly with his elbow, “Huh, never would have pegged you to be concerned over my well-being. Guess you’re warming up to me, huh?”

Kageyama jerked away from him, shooting him a trademark glare. “Don’t be stupid.”

The redhead continued smiling, “It’s pretty weird sitting here, eating with you. You know I think this is the first time we’ve had a conversation that didn’t involve death threats or proclamations about defeating one another.”

The other boy scoffed, “Well, that’s probably because it’s the first time you haven’t said anything stupid for longer than five minutes.”

“....And then, you _had_ to ruin it. You suck, Kageyama,” Hinata pouted, but wasn’t actually hurt by the words. In fact, the other boy’s rudeness made things feel more familiar and comfortable. When Kageyama discretely reached for seconds, the redhead hid his smile and pretended not to pay attention to him.

“Okay, so like I was saying before, I didn’t make the food just out of the kindness of my heart,” Hinata began uncomfortably, while playing around with the leftover food on his plate “I know that we haven’t always been on the best of terms, but we...we’re teammates now...and roommates…because, for some reason the universe sees fit to torture the both of us,” he added in a light, sarcastic tone, “And I’m not saying we should be friends or anything...but, I don’t know...it wouldn’t hurt to maybe... not try to murder each other every other second of the day? Maybe it’s my self-persevering nature but, living passed the age of eighteen has always been a goal of mine.” At that, he finally got the urge to look over at the dark-haired boy, “And, I don’t know. Wh--what do you think?”

“You talk too much.”

Hinata angrily opened his mouth to retort, but instead Kageyama quickly continued, “But I agree with you. Roommates, we can deal with. We’ll just stay out of each other’s way. Teammates, on the other hand..,” he trailed off slowly, frowning to himself, “We’ll need to work on that. I don’t know if you’re good enough to spike my tosses--”

“HEY! I’ll have you know-”

“--yet. But, that’s something we can work on. If we practice and train together, I’m thinking we can beat the captain and co-captain in a practice match and prove to them that we can work together.” Kageyama looked down at him with his determined, dark gaze. “Just listen to me, do what I say, and we’ll win.”

Hinata was torn between getting pumped up at the prospect of playing in a match and lashing out at the other boy in annoyance for his nerve. “FIRST OFF, just doing what you say is the opposite of working together, so um, NO on that front. But if by that dictator-like tirade you meant that we would listen to EACH OTHER and actually WORK TOGETHER, then yes I agree, I think we could win this.”

The two of them were mismatched in every way possible, but there was no denying that the both of them were skilled on the court. And if they could somehow use each other’s strengths to their advantage, then they really did have a shot. They just had to try not killing each other in the process.

Suddenly filled with excitement and purpose, Hinata jumped from his seat and raised his fist in the air. “OKAY! Let’s do this!”

Kageyama gave the beaming redhead an unimpressed look. “I hope you know we’re not starting right this second. I’m still eating.”

“You’re on your third plate! Don’t think I can’t see you!”

“I-it’s good, okay? ...I like curry.”

“Heh, you like _my_ curry.”

“...Shut up.”

“OH, also, we need to talk about making a bathroom schedule…”

They had a lot of work to do, but maybe, _maybe_ , they could make this work.


	2. I may look calm (but in my head, I've already killed you three times)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In retrospect, declaring an all-out prank war on his homicidal roommate was probably not one of Hinata’s brightest ideas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Episode 2 in this silly melodrama. Links and pictures to the aforementioned pranks are at the bottom of the page. Happy April Fool's Day! (May the odds be ever in your favor...)

-

If anyone were to ask Hinata about it later, he would have claimed that Kageyama goaded him into it. That the dark-haired teen had finally pushed the last of Hinata’s buttons, with his grumpy attitude and condescending comments and his inability to share a goddamn bathroom, and it was the final straw that led to following events.

But really it was a result of a night out at a karaoke bar with the former Yukigaoka girl’s team and a cheap bottle of sake.

When some of the girls who he used to practice with back in high school found out that he was attending Karasuno, they persuaded him to join them for a night out drinking and singing at a nearby bar.

-

_Earlier that week_

_He had been practicing with Kageyama and Tanaka in the second gymnasium, as they were still unable to step foot in the main gym, when he had caught sight of some of the former members Yukigaoka girl’s team._

_After calling out to them excitedly, the redhead was immediately swarmed by three ecstatic females. Tanaka had flat out gawked at the sight, rendered speechless at being so close to such attractive members of the opposite sex. Even Kageyama looked surprised and tried to hide it by glowering and muttering something about distractions._

_“Pleaaase, come out with us! We won’t be able to do this once the season starts back up again,” Yachi, a freshman and former captain of the Yukigaoka girl’s team, whined to her long-time friend._

_“Yeah, Shouyou, and we want to catch up with you! It’s been years since I’ve seen you,” Yui, the current captain of the Karasuno girl’s team, urged as she wrapped her arms around the shorter boy and held him tight against her, “You haven’t grown an inch, have you?” The senior had been the first person to allow him to practice with the girl’s team during high school, and treated him like a little brother._

_Hinata scowled at her playfully, but immediately brightened when he caught sight of the beautiful, dark-haired junior beside her who smiled at him in familiarity. Kiyoko had been the manager of the boy’s volleyball team when Hinata had first met her, and he had been the one to convince her to join the girl’s team when they had been short on players._

_“Yes, please come with us,” Kiyoko asked softly, and Hinata had sighed in defeat because it was physically impossible to say ‘no’ to the effortlessly attractive female._

_"Fiiiine. But I am not taking shots this time! You hear me?"_

-

And that was how Hinata found himself stumbling up the stairwell to his dorm at one in the morning. Kiyoko, who had been the designated driver, and as such, the only sober one, had insisted that they drop him off at his door, but alas, no girls were allowed after midnight according to the dorm rules. Yui drunkenly slurred that the rule was archaic and misogynist, while Yachi had already drifted off to sleep once they had gotten into the car.

After tripping over one of his shoelaces for the second time and almost landing head first into one of the concrete landings, the short redhead inwardly cursed at himself for allowing the three girls to persuade him into joining in on the night’s festivities. Especially Yui, who had somehow convinced him to go shot for shot with her.

When he finally reached his floor, Hinata groaned happily at the familiar sight of his dorm. As he swayed clumsily, making his way over, he began mumbling one of the songs they had belted out at the bar. There were a few guys walking in the hallway, and they all eyed him knowingly in amusement.

_“Haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate!”_ Hinata sang slightly out of tune as he fumbled with his keys, repeatedly attempting to insert the wrong key over and over again into the keyhole. _“And I’m just gonna shake shake shake shake shake!”_

The door suddenly slammed open, and a sleepy, disgruntled Kageyama stood at the doorway, glaring down at him. “What the fuck?!”

Hinata blinked up at him with glazed hazel eyes, and he stumbled forward, almost falling, if not for Kageyama’s arms shooting out to steady him. _“Shake it offfff! Shake it offfff!”_ The redhead began to giggle to himself uncontrollably, before suddenly going limp against the other boy.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Kageyama muttered, staring down at the mop of red hair, his arms straining to control the swaying boy, who was now mumbling incoherently to himself.

“I feel…sick,” Hinata whined into his roommate’s white shirt, not bothered at all by their close proximity. Kageyama immediately started leading him towards the restroom, questioning his own sanity when he felt his face flush slightly.

Hinata’s head was spinning uncontrollably as his roommate set him down on the bathroom tile next to the toilet. He felt dizzy and his stomach was churning so uncomfortably that he latched onto his roommate’s leg in support. “Kageyamaaa,” he groaned, the side of his face pressed against the skin of the taller teen’s leg, “Poor decisions were made tonight. Very poor. I think I’m dying.”

Kageyama rolled his eyes and attempted to jostle the boy to let go of his leg, but the attempt just made him hold on tighter. “Let go, dumbass.”

“Don’t wannnaaaa.”

Words were getting harder and harder to articulate, his mind like syrup in its sluggishness. Hinata loosened his grip and suddenly slumped forward, and the other boy steadied him so that he was laying on his side. The redhead was asleep before his face hit the cold tile of the bathroom floor.

He never noticed the dark-haired teen lingering for a few, long moments, still crouched down low beside him, watching him with dark, yet curious blue eyes.

-

It happened at some point in the early hours of the morning. Woken up by the dire need to relieve his bladder, Hinata shot up from his position on the floor and looked around in confusion. Where was he? What happened? Why did he have that one song by that American singer, Taylor Swift, stuck in his head?

When he realized that he was in his own bathroom, he let out a sigh of relief and slowly got up to wobble clumsily towards the toilet. His head was pounding and judging by the way the room was spinning, he was probably still a little drunk. Hinata looked blearily at his reflection in the mirror beside him.

His orange hair was sticking out in every which way, his hazel eyes were bloodshot and glassy, and his skin was pale and sunken in. Despite this, he grinned and watched his disheveled reflection grin back. It had been a good night, if his memory served him right. He had a feeling that if he checked his phone, which was probably dead at this point, he would see numerous blackmail worthy videos of Yui and Yachi attempting to harmonize and dance to the opening song of an old shoujo anime.

As he was washing his hands, he noticed that besides the sink there was a glass of water and a bottle of Advil. Blinking slowly, he grabbed the bottle with his still-wet hands, hearing the pills move about inside.

Huh. But that could only mean…

Hinata shook his head. There was no way. He must have gotten the water and Advil himself before he passed out in the bathroom. He laughed at the mere idea of his rival attempting to care for his drunk ass and actually making an effort to ensure that Hinata didn’t have a headache the next morning. That would be ridiculous and completely out-of-character. The guy didn’t even know how to hold a civil conversation with him, let alone look after his well-being!

Thinking of his rude, grumpy roommate and his poor bathroom skills, an idea began to form in Hinata’s still-drunken mind.

With a mischievous smirk, he reached into the cabinet above the toilet and grabbed the entire stash of toilet paper rolls inside. Quietly opening the bathroom door, he peeked his orange head out to make sure the coast was clear. When he was sure, he tip-toed out with an armful of the toilet paper rolls and quietly slipped into his room so he could hide them in his closet.

Then, taking a black sharpie from his desk, he made his way back into the bathroom. Chuckling softly to himself, he pulled at the toilet paper roll currently in use, unraveling the soft tissue paper until there was only a few squares left on the roll. With the sharpie, he scribbled a quick note in all caps.

_‘THE END IS NEAR.’_

Giggling evilly at his handiwork, he grabbed the leftover tissue paper, as well as the glass of water and the bottle of Advil and exited the bathroom.

-

_6:44AM--Monday_

Kageyama woke up seconds before his alarm started going off, his hand shooting out to turn it off almost instantly. Like clockwork, the dark-haired teen got out of bed and stretched his long arms over his head, ending with a yawn. Rolling his shoulders, he opened his bedroom door and made his way to the bathroom.

He wondered if Hinata was still in there. The redhead had been passed out and drooling on the tile when Kageyama had left him. A small, tiny part of him had felt bad for leaving the drunken boy in there to suffer with what would probably be a terrible hangover the next morning, so he had even fetched him a glass of water and some Advil, despite his better judgment.

Switching on the lights, he immediately noted the redhead’s absence and shrugged before going to use the toilet. It was only when he had finished relieving his bladder and sat down to take care of other business when he noticed the scribbled handwriting at the corner of his eye.

_‘THE END IS NEAR.’_

It took a second for his mind to to catch up, and suddenly, his eyes widened in pure horror at the realization of what the note meant. He knew without even having to check into the cabinet above his head, that the two, sad little squares of tissue were all that he had left to clean up after himself, and his face flushed with shame and growing anger. That stupid, little dumbass, motherfucking--

“HINATAAAA!!” 

\- 

_12PM--Monday_

When Hinata finally awoke, he felt as though he had been sleeping for ages. But what a good sleep it was. He yawned, stretching his arms far above his head, blinking his hazel eyes open when he felt something soft touch his hands. Huh. He tilted his head up, only to be greeted by several, thin white streams of tissue paper hanging from his ceiling fan. What...

Then, he saw the rest of his room.

Rolls of toilet paper had been strewn over everything--his desk, his clothes, his bed--He looked down at himself and gasped in surprise--even his body was covered in toilet paper. His entire room looked as though it had been mummified. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Cry because it would take forever to clean up the mess, and laugh because, well...he hadn’t actually expected for Kageyama to _retaliate back_.

And with such flare, too. Hinata surveyed his room with growing admiration. It was obvious that the other boy had found the stash of toilet paper that Hinata had hidden in his closet. But for him to actually strike back a direct response to his earlier bathroom prank...he hadn’t anticipated that.

He was almost positive that Kageyama would throw a fit and berate him with threats of violence and bodily harm. But this...this was commendable...applaudable even...this was like…

Hazel eyes sparkled in mischief, and the orange haired boy slowly smirked to himself.

_This was a declaration for war._

\- 

_8AM--Tuesday_

Hinata was currently hiding at the cafe again, which he was probably becoming a regular of at this point seeing as how he had unofficially chosen it as his designated hiding place whenever he wanted to avoid Kageyama. 

The redhead knew that his next move had to be more thoroughly thought out, which meant recruiting an accomplice. Also someone who would be able to report him missing and identify his body should Kageyama have his way. 

The first person who came to mind was Kuroo. While Kenma was always his go-to, the laidback boy did not have a single bone of mischief in his body. Kuroo, on the other hand, was a genius at this sort of thing. And enlisting the help of Kuroo meant that he’d also acquire the skills of yet another important asset…

Sipping on his frappuccino, Hinata pulled out his phone and quickly created a new group text and added two numbers onto it, labeling it **‘Accomplices?’** He scrolled through his pictures before finding the one he snapped of his toilet paper covered bedroom and sent it with the caption: _War has been declared. Require assistance for next move._

Almost instantly he received his first response, and he grinned widely to himself when he saw who it was.

_Who’s the target?_ - **Bokuto**

One of Kuroo’s closest companions, Bokuto was a junior and the current captain of Fukurodani University. Hinata was immediately taken by the older boy’s energetic and often dramatic personality, often following him around like a lost puppy when they were together.

_You got TP-ed by THE King of the Court?_ - **Kuroo**

_Didn’t know the guy had it in him, to be honest._ - **Bokuto**

_Knowing Hinata, the King was probably provoked. What did you do, midget? Pee in his Cheerios?_ - **Kuroo**

The redhead then relayed to them the events that occurred the night before--how he had been drinking, passed out in the bathroom, and then somehow initiated a very much ill-conceived prank war with his rival.

_HAHAHA._ - **Bokuto**

_Lolllll, I miss drunk Hinata. That guy is fun_. - **Kuroo**

_Guyyyys. This is serious business! I need a perfectly crafted retaliation, and you know I wouldn’t turn to you guys if I didn’t need the best of the best._ **-Hinata**

_Oh, youuuu_. - **Bokuto**

_You know how much I love flattery_. - **Bokuto**

_I’m in._ - **Bokuto**

_...I’m also in. But you owe us._ - **Kuroo**

_Yeah! Brilliance comes at a cost, you know._ **-Bokuto**

_Fiiine. (I’m probably going to regret this later.) But, we need to start brainstorming ASAP. I’m going to run into him during practice in T-Minus 2 hours._ - **Hinata**

_Heh...luckily for you, midget. I have a few things in mind…_ - **Kuroo**

As Hinata read the incoming texts, he began giggling to himself at all the plan that was slowly forming. He was almost starting to feel sorry for his poor, unfortunate roommate. Almost.

-

_4:15 PM--Tuesday_

After arriving home from his morning classes, Kageyama was more than a little apprehensive when he opened the door to his dorm. The tall dark-haired teen cautiously made his way to his bedroom, looking to see if his midget roommate was hiding away somewhere ready to pop out at any moment.

While, Kageyama was far from being a social creature, he wasn’t stupid. He knew what he had done.

This was a prank war.

And like hell if he was going to let the annoying dumbass win. But that involved having to watch his back more closely than he was used to.

Seeing not a strand of orange hair in sight, he sighed and finally pulled open his bedroom door, only realizing his mistake a second too late, when he triggered the tower of plastic cups taped to the other side of the door to come raining down upon him. (1)

The red cups had each been half-filled with water and carefully stacked on top of each other, before getting taped against the back of the door with clear, masking tape. Triggered to fall only when the unlucky person decided to open the door from the other side, Kageyama never stood a chance.

“HAHAHAHA.”

Thoroughly soaked and seething, Kageyama looked up through his wet bangs at his much smaller, soon-to-be dead roommate who was currently clutching his stomach with one hand and holding his camera phone in the other to record the spectacle.

Catching the murderous look in his eyes, Hinata’s instincts told him to run the other way, but seeing as there was still a wall of clear, thick masking tape separating him from certain death, he decided to take his sweet time.

Kuroo had prepared him for this.

Before setting up this genius prank, the older boy had told him to plan an escape route. Luckily for him, Kageyama’s bedroom had a window that led to the courtyard outside. Their dorm was three stories up, but Hinata had tied a rope on one of the branches of a giant oak tree that stood just outside of the window.

So, flashing his still soaking roommate a dazzling grin, the smaller boy strolled over to the open window, and gave a little wave. “See you at practice!”

With flare that would make even Bokuto proud, he propelled himself out of the window, instantly grabbing the rope and swinging down the length of the tree, all the while squealing with glee at the adrenaline rush.

“Wahhoooooooooo!!!”

The students wandering the courtyard below will later swear that a nearby zoo was probably missing one overgrown primate, of the orange variety.

-

_5:10 PM--Tuesday_

During practice, the redhead kept surreptitiously glancing at his roommate from the corner of his eye to see if the other boy was planning some sort of retaliation. Since the two of them were still banned from practicing with the team in the morning, some of the other team members had volunteered to help the two freshmen train for their upcoming practice match after classes.

Today, it was Sugawara and Tanaka. The older of the two immediately noticed Hinata’s not-so subtle observations, as the hyperactive freshman was just short of blatantly staring, but chose to remain quiet on the matter.

Kageyama had arrived to practice a few minutes late. Hinata noted with a small smirk that he had changed into dry clothing, although his hair was still wet from earlier. The taller boy had sent the redhead a glare scary enough to make Hinata keep his distance, but other than that, he made no further moves.

It was driving Hinata crazy with nervous anticipation, but he wasn’t about to let it show.

“How are we supposed to practice properly if you refuse to toss to me?” The redhead finally complained, after the setter once again tossed only to the other two players. Kageyama looked back at him with an unreadable expression, and Hinata almost ducked behind Sugawara just for caution’s sake.

But the taller boy merely grabbed another ball from the basket. “You should work on your receives first, and for everyone’s sake... _your serves_. Preferably when I’m not in the general vicinity,” the setter muttered the latter part under his breath.

The comment had Tanaka cracking up instantly while Hinata merely pouted, not taking the bait to instigate yet another argument. “Fine, I’ll practice my serves now. But we’re never going to win if you don’t let me do what I’m actually good at!” He whined, grabbing the ball cart so he could practice on the other side of the gym, a safe distance away from the setter.

Kageyama watched the other boy’s retreat with something akin to amusement, an idea slowly forming in his mind. Tanaka eyed him nervously. “Uhh...Kageyama...You have a really evil look on your face right now. It’s slightly terrifying.”

“Have you and Hinata been...working out your issues?” Sugawara asked cautiously, noting how the tall setter was fighting to keep a smirk off of his face.

“We are...working on them, as we speak.”

“Oh god, you’re going to murder him aren’t you?” Tanaka sent a look of pity to the oblivious freshman, who had just failed to hit another serve above the net. “Ahh, look at him. So young. So innocent. He won’t even see it coming, will he?"

Kageyama didn’t even try to hide his smirk this time. “No, he won’t…”

Tanaka and Sugawara shared a look behind the setter’s back. To what the tall freshman was referring to, they could not fathom a guess. They only hoped that the short redhead was prepared for whatever he had in store for him.

“Would either of you happen to know where the nearest grocery store is?’

-

Hinata was more than a little apprehensive when he saw Kageyama leave a few minutes early from practice. Especially when he caught Tanaka and Sugawara both sending him sympathetic looks from the other side of the gym. He jogged over to them once he was sure that the setter had exited the building.

“ _What_. What do you know?!”

Sugawara looked confused, while Tanaka gave him a small shrug. “He only asked where the nearest grocery store was. Oh, and to make sure you practice more before you leave.”

Hinata groaned, running his hands through his hair messily. “That could mean anything! He could be plotting _anything_!”

“What exactly is going on?” The gray-haired setter questioned, eyeing the shorter boy thoughtfully. “Or do we even want to know…”

The redhead looked around them as if to check for eavesdroppers, and then urged them to move closer so that they were in a small huddle. “You can’t tell anyone.” Hazel eyes darted from one boy to the other. “Especially not the captain! He will no doubt be pissed at our lack of cooperation with one another.”

“I’m sure that will not come as a surprise to him,” Sugawara murmured under his breath.

Hinata looked upon them very seriously and in his most grave tone whispered, “I may or may not have declared a prank war on Kageyama.”

_“A prank war?!”_

The redhead immediately hushed them both and continued to look around them nervously for any sign of Kageyama, before turning back to his teammates. “Well, long story short…”

He told them everything that had happened so far, down to the last detail, and the contents of his tale had Tanaka practically dying of laughter while Sugawara was struggling to keep a straight face.

“And now all I can do is wait for him to retaliate! He could strike at any moment! He could be lurking around any corner, and there would be no way for me to know _when_ or _what_ or _how_!” At this point, Hinata was waving his arms about frantically to show his distress.

“You totally...deserve it,” Tanaka managed to say between fits of laughter.

“Perhaps you should have thought things through before you decided to deprive your newly appointed roommate and team member the means to…properly clean himself,” Sugawara didn’t even try hiding his chuckle, while the bald junior was set off again.

“Guysss. Do you not care about my imminent death?” Hinata whined, and spread his arms out dramatically, “This may be the last time you ever see me again.”

“Now, now. Kageyama wouldn’t murder you,” Sugawara assured the freshman, “Just probably mortify you to the point where you’d want to die.”

“Well, that’s just _lovely_ ,” Hinata responded dryly.

Tanaka laughed once more, “Ahh, I love freshmen. Where else could I find this sort of amusement?” He gave the redhead a loud slap on the back that caused the boy to stumble a few steps forward, and glare back at him. “Now, can we actually get back to practicing? You know your senpai are dedicating our _precious time_ here in order to help you two.”

Hinata sighed, knowing the older boy was right. “Fine...I suppose it would be fitting to spend my last few moments on Earth playing volleyball.”

Sugawara grinned at him, as he positioned himself near the net. “Come on, I’ll even toss to you. It will be my parting gift.”

The redhead pouted for a moment, before slumping his shoulders and conceding. There was no point in agonizing over what Kageyama might do next. All he could do was wait...

-

_Tuesday--10 PM_

“So why are you video chatting me again?”

Hinata looked at his best friend’s face on his cell phone screen. Kenma had his phone propped against some of his textbooks so that he could work on an essay for one of his classes while conversing with him. “Because...I don’t want to face this by myself! I’ve been stalling all night, trying to avoid coming home. But I’ve got homework due tomorrow, and all my school work is in my room…”

Kenma glanced up at his phone screen, _“Just open the door, Shouyou. You’ve been standing here for at least ten minutes now.”_

“Ugh. FINE. But I’m switching the camera view so you can face this with me.”

Hinata took a huge breath and with his eyes screwed shut, he slowly opened the door. There was a horrifying moment when he thought something was going to fall on him or jump out, but when nothing immediately happened, he let out a huge sigh of relief.

_“Oh, god.”_ He heard Kenma utter from his cell phone.

When the redhead finally lifted his head to survey the room, he couldn’t help but let out a low whistle as he assessed the damage. “Well, damn.”

Kageyama had taken a page out of his book once again, and responded with yet another perfect retaliation. This time their entire kitchen and living room area was filled with the red plastic cups, all half-filled with water. From where he was standing at the front door, to where the bedrooms and bathroom were located, every square inch of the tile floor was covered by plastic cups. Even the counter space and kitchen were littered with the plastic cups. There was no where to move without hitting one of the cups and setting off a disastrous domino effect. Only the area around the front door where Hinata was currently standing was safe. (2)

_“Look, I think he left you a little note,”_ Kenma said, and Hinata could hear him chuckling through the phone speaker.

Hinata looked around him searching for what the other boy was talking about, but he couldn’t see a note anywhere. But then something odd caught his eye. There...in the middle of the living room Kageyama had cleverly used different colored cups and arranged them in order to spell out a message.

_YOU’RE A DUMBASS._

Hinata’s eye twitched.

“That bastard.”

More laughter was coming from his phone and he lifted it up to see that Kenma had summoned Kuroo and the two of them were snickering at his misfortune. He switched the camera view again so that they could see his face, which was currently looking very unamused at their reactions.

“Now the question is...how do I get to my bedroom?”

There was a pause, and then Kenma suddenly asked, _“How much do you know about the laws of physics…?”_

Hinata stared at his phone screen blankly, causing the other boy to sigh and shake his head. “What were you even doing during all of those team study sessions in high school?”

“Playing Yu-Gi-Oh with Kuroo.”

Kenma shot his roommate an unimpressed look, while the other teen shrugged and grinned, unashamed. He turned back to his phone and pulled out a piece of notebook paper so he could explain more fully.

_“Well, Shouyou...there’s this little thing called weight distribution…”_

-

Thirty minutes later, Hinata was armed with some foam wave boards that he had temporarily borrowed from some other freshmen down the hall. According to Kenma, if he carefully placed the wave boards on top of the plastic cups, he could stand on them and walk across due to his weight getting equally distributed onto the cups below him.

Ahhhhh, _science_.

He only had five wave boards, so he had to be smart about placing them a good distance apart so that he could make it to his bedroom. Taking one of the boards in his right hand and sticking the others under his left arm, he placed the first down onto the cups in front of him and began his trek across the room.

Once he realized that Kenma was definitely not bullshitting him and he really could put his entire weight onto the boards, Hinata began to enjoy himself a little more. It was kind of like an adventure. Oooo! It was like he was in one of those Zelda games where he had to figure out the puzzle in each dungeon in order to complete the quest.

The idea filled him with so much excitement that he started humming the Zelda theme under his breath as he placed the fifth and final wave board onto the cups a few feet away from his bedroom door. _“Dun dun….dunununununahhh. Dun dun dun dun dunnn.”_

He was in the middle of lunging across from one board to the other when Kageyama’s bedroom door slammed open, and his tall roommate appeared in the doorway with an expression torn between being smug at Hinata’s current predicament and surprised at the solution the redhead had somehow come up with. One hand was holding the door open carefully so as to not hit the cups beside it, while the other was gripping a volleyball.

Hinata was still in mid-lunge when he pointed his finger in triumph at the dark-haired teen. “That’s right, you bastard, I’ve outsmarted you...with _science_.”

Kageyama gave the redhead a quick once over, before smirking broadly. “I wouldn’t use the term ‘outsmarted’ just yet…”

“What do you---”

“Here, catch!”

The setter suddenly tossed the volleyball he had been holding up in the air, and out of pure instinct Hinata jumped to retrieve it, realizing his mistake a moment too late as he awkwardly landed onto the plastic cups and tripped, causing him to fall backwards and set off the domino effect of plastic cups to spill one after the other.

Within seconds, Hinata, as well as the floor around him, was completely covered with water. A part of him was thanking the dorm gods that their floors were comprised entirely of tile, and not something easily damageable, like carpet. The majority of him was cursing the so-called King of the Court, who was now openly laughing at him from his doorway.

It suddenly occurred to him, almost as an afterthought, that he had never seen Kageyama laugh.

“I hate you,” Hinata muttered miserably, rubbing at the orange hair wet and flattened against his head.

“Try using science to clean-up the mess, dumbass,” Kageyama called out as he retreated back into his bedroom with another victory under his belt, leaving the redhead to mope in his defeat.

-

_5AM--Wednesday_

The next morning, Kageyama was unwillingly woken up to the sound of his phone blaring out the unfamiliar tune of yet another American pop song, which could only mean one thing…

_“My humps, my humps, my humps, check it out!”_

After forcing himself to get up in order to shut off the annoying alarm, the dark-haired teen surveyed his room for further damage, and was not surprised at what he saw. At some point during the night, Hinata had managed to arrange all of the plastic cups in his room, but instead of just simply placing them side by side, the redhead had somehow stacked them up to build towers and pyramids all around his room. (3)

And from the looks of it, the cups were filled with more than just water this time. Oh God, was that... _glitter_?

Unfortunately for Kageyama, science was not on his side that morning.

-

And so the prank war continued.

Later that same Wednesday, Hinata found that his roommate had carefully set traps of plastic wrap, impossible to see by the untrained eye. His doorway had been plastic wrapped right where his head would pass, causing him to run face first into the plastic--a trap that he had fallen for several more times that day in various doorways. His bike had been plastic wrapped against a telephone poll. All of his food in the fridge and pantry were individually plastic wrapped. Even the toilet had been cleverly wrapped, which Hinata only discovered after trying to pee in said toilet. Suffice to say, he made quite a bit of a mess. (4)

On Thursday, Kageyama, in addition to discovering that Hinata had somehow hacked into all of the contacts on his phone and replaced the names with question marks and the pictures changed to that of him making various faces, was victim to the infamous fake milk carton prank. All of the milk cartons in the gym vending machine had been replaced with milk cartons filled with, of all things, sake. When an unsuspecting Kageyama went to slurp his familiar milky beverage, he was instead met with a burning liquid that left him coughing violently for minutes after.

Hours later, Hinata showed up to practice with a head full of spiky, electric blue hair.

In the span of a mere week, almost everyone had been informed about the ongoing prank war, even students that had never met the two--now infamous--freshmen. Pictures of their various pranks had circulated among the students, and now several people had bets going on who would eventually come out the victor--so far it was a tie between the two, much to the chagrin of the majority who were in favor of Hinata (who, in most everyone’s opinion, was arguably the most devious of the two).

Despite it starting off as a personal feud against one another, it suddenly became one of the main sources of entertainment for the students of Karasuno University.

Well, for _almost_ all of the students.

Namely just excluding _one_.

A certain frustrated and pissed off volleyball captain, to be exact.

Daichi was more than a little aggravated. He had given the two freshmen one week to work out their issues so that they could be re-admitted back into the team, and this was how they chose to spend that precious time? A goddamn fucking _prank_ war?!

The last straw occurred the day of their 3-on-3 match, also the day in which Hinata had ‘mistakenly’ put his red socks in with Kageyama’s white laundry load, causing all of the setter’s clothes to come out a bright pink color. When Daichi caught sight of Kageyama’s pink gym clothing, he immediately began marching over to the two ridiculous looking freshmen.

Asahi, who was the first to catch sight of the crazed look in his captain’s eyes, began gesturing wildly in their direction to warn them of the incoming danger, but once he finally caught Hinata’s attention, Daichi had already made his way in front of them, mouth set in a hard line.

_“You two.”_

Hinata’s face dropped instantly, while Kageyama’s eyes widened with thinly concealed fear.

“So this is how you’ve been spending your time” the brunette captain began, eyes narrowing further as he continued, “No, not practicing like you two should be...” He looked from one boy to the other. “...but a fucking PRANK WAR!” The two freshmen flinched at his raised tone, but their captain was far from finished. “I know for a fact that those cup pranks took hours to set up!”

At that Hinata had the nerve to look sheepish, that last one did take over four hours of painstaking diligence to set up while Kageyama had been sleeping...

“And now you guys have the nerve to come here, looking like _clowns_ , thinking you can beat us in a 3-on-3 match? Are you that cocky? Or just that stupid? _Something_ tells me that you haven’t even tried to toss Hinata once, Kageyama.” The setter huffed, crossing his arms and stubbornly looking away. “And Hinata, maybe if you stopped trying to antagonize him every chance you got, he would actually want to toss to you.” The still blue-haired boy pouted, kicking at the ground softly.

“Are you guys really cut out to play on this team?”

At this, both Hinata’s and Kageyama’s heads shot up in growing shock and apprehension.

“Wait-!” Kageyama started in protest, but Hinata interrupted him by suddenly stepping forward and turning to face both the captain and Kageyama with a look of grim determination. The rest of the team, who had either come to participate in the 3-on-3 match, or just came to watch, were now on the edge of their seats, watching the scene unfold.

“We’ll show you,” the blue-haired boy declared, gesturing first at himself and then at the setter beside him. “We’re good enough to play on this team, I _know_ it. So let us show you.”

Daichi shook off his initial surprise at the freshman’s sheer candidness and gave him a look of disbelief, “I’m not sure if you guys have practiced enough to go against us in a match…”

Hinata shook his head, “Not a match! Instead, let Bakayama and I prove to you that we are serious about this. Right now. More like a...display of skills, so to say…,” Kageyama shot him a look of confusion, “And...if we manage to impress you, and you decide that we’re good enough to join the team, then give us another chance!”

Daichi turned to look at Sugawara who was standing a little bit a ways with some of the other members of the team. The vice captain shrugged and called out, “I say it wouldn’t hurt to see what they have to show, right?”

The captain turned back to the two freshmen just in time to see Hinata do a little jump of excitement. “All right...fine, let’s see what you’ve got, then.”

It was only when the dark-haired senior turned to join the rest of the team that Kageyama finally spoke up. “Okay, dumbass. Now, what are we going to do?”

Hinata flashed him a wide grin. “So...I’ve got an idea…”

“Oh. This can’t be good.”

“Just hear me out!”

The taller boy still looked unimpressed, but muttered a soft, “Fine.”

“So, do you remember those crazy tosses you used to do back in middle school and high school?” Hinata started off saying and watched as the setter’s expression darken, so he quickly went on to explain. “Just let me finish okay? I've watched you for years, okay! And no, no not in a creepy stalker way, so stop giving me that look. Those tosses...you knew exactly where to place the ball in order to surprise and strike down your opponent...but none of your teammates could ever hit them, not in middle school or high school, and then you just stopped doing them all together.”

“What’s your point,” Kageyama said, sharply.

Hinata straightened up his back and looked straight into his rival’s dark, cobalt eyes. “I can hit them.”

“What?”

“Toss me the ball, and it doesn’t matter how far away I am or how high you place them,” Hazel eyes gleamed in excitement and resolve, “I can hit them.”

The setter looked more than a little shocked. “No one can hit those.”

The blue-haired teen shook his head in disagreement. “You just haven’t been tossing to the right person.” Hinata grinned suddenly and stepped up close to the taller boy, “Just trust me.”

Kageyama looked down at him, eyes calculating and unreadable, before nodding slowly. “I'm not saying I trust you...but I guess it wouldn't hurt to try. Just don't fuck this up.”

“That goes both ways, Bakayama,” Hinata responded over his shoulder as he made his way over to the the other members of the team. When he passed by Nishinoya and Tanaka, they both gave him hard pats on the back and shoulder. He looked from member to member before resting his eyes on Asahi and Tsukishima, the tallest members of the team. “Do you guys mind being our stand-in blockers?” Asahi nodded in agreement, while the tall blonde gave him a once over, before smirking.

“I honestly can’t take you seriously with that hair,” the sophomore said in response, adjusting his black framed glasses.

Hinata huffed at the taller boy. “He put temporary dye in my shampoo, okay?! Now are you in or out?”

While everyone else was getting situated, Kageyama was left to his own devices. Grabbing one of the balls in the basket beside him, Kageyama took a deep breath and tried to remember how he used to toss- _-self-centered tosses_ , his former teammates used to call them.

_“Your tosses are completely unreasonable! There’s no point if we can’t hit the ball!”_

_“Move faster! Jump higher! Match the speed of my tosses!”_

Since then, he learned to be better about it. Despite knowing he had the skills and the exact calculation to toss the ball where it needed to be, Kageyama learned to instead toss the ball where his teammates were more likely to hit it. He had stopped doing those crazy tosses years ago, realizing no one would ever be able to match the speed in which his mind worked. But now…

Dark eyes looked up just in time to see Hinata start walking towards him. Kageyama supposed that if anyone were stupid and crazy enough to be able to his tosses, it wouldn't be all that surprising if this idiot was actually the one to pull it off.

The former redhead gestured to the two tall players who were now situated on the other side of the net. “I found ourselves some blockers.”

Kageyama gave them a short nod in acknowledgement before turning to glower at the other freshman. “Okay, so you are going to place yourself in different starting positions on the court, and depending on where the blockers are, I’m going to toss it exactly where I think it will get passed them. The ball won’t always come directly to you, but should you make it there in time and with your jump capacity, you should be able to hit them at your highest point. Do you think you can do that?”

Hinata narrowed his eyes, the corners of his lips turning downwards as he listened. “Why do I get the feeling that you still don’t believe me?” 

“Well, it's not like we have the best track record together.”

“I meant what I said, okay? For now, I don’t care if we are rivals, and I don’t care if you think your tosses are impossible,” the former redhead said determinedly, pointing his thumb at himself, “If you toss the ball my way, I’ll always be there to hit it.”

Kageyama stared down at him for a long moment, taking in the bright hazel eyes and the temporarily dyed blue hair, with stubborn orange streaks already beginning to reveal themselves, before finally shaking his head in disbelief. “You’re fucking crazy, you know that?”

Hinata grinned and didn't bother trying to deny it. “Yep. Now, let’s show ‘em how it’s done!”

-

Daichi honestly didn’t know what to expect when Hinata proposed this so-called ‘display of skills’. He, as well as the rest of the team, were already very much aware of the skills the two new freshmen possessed. From Kageyama’s incredible setting accuracy to Hinata’s unmatched speed and jumping abilities, the two were already well-known entities on the court. The taller of the two had been infamous since middle school, while the redhead had been garnering more and more attention as the years progressed. They had both improved themselves over the years, and if he was being honest, they were more than ready to begin practicing at a collegiate level. 

But the thing was...they had always been on opposite sides of the net.  _Rivals._

Which was why part of him was not expecting much from this display--the two of them were at constant odds with one another, and Daichi assumed that it would take weeks and weeks of practice before they were able to play together as proper teammates, at the least. 

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

The captain of the Karasuno volleyball team watched in awe as Kageyama tossed ball after ball, all in complicated, yet very deliberate and precise locations, so that Hinata could hit the ball passed the two incredibly tall blockers without any obstructions. It didn’t matter how far the shorter freshman was on the court, he would be a blur at the baseline one moment and then seconds later he’d be soaring in the air and slamming down another complicated toss straight through the over-stretched arms of the taller players.

The dark-haired senior turned to look at his vice captain, who also wore an equally shocked expression. “Suga...I thought you said they didn’t practice together…”

“...They _haven’t_ practiced together…”

At hearing this, the rest of the team members were even more in awe than they had been initially. None of them had ever seen this sort of quick succession of quick strikes before.

“...Look, you can see that Kageyama is reading the blockers’ movements so that he can calculate where to toss the ball!” Ennoshita whispered as he observed the players on the court.

“But he’d also have to accurately read Hinata to know exactly how high to toss the ball, right?!” Tanaka exclaimed incredulously, darting his head from one player to the other to watch the display unfold.

“DAMN! Did you see how fast Shouyou moved from one side of the court to the other?” Nishinoya remarked loudly from beside him.

Granted, a lot of their movements were a little sloppy, and a few times Kageyama would miscalculate Hinata’s jumping ability or Hinata would be just a little too slow or too fast at hitting the ball. But judging from the fact that this was the first official time the two had actually played together…

Daichi watched as Hinata slammed the final ball right in the space between Asahi and Tsukishima’s heads and then immediately turn to Kageyama to give him a high-five. The dark-haired setter granted him a blank expression, to which Hinata guffawed loudly in response.

“Do you not know what a high-five is, king?”

“Don’t call me that, dumbass.”

_“Has no one ever high-fived you?”_

“Just shut up and pay attention for once.”

“You can’t just leave me hanging here!”

Okay, so they still had a lot of issues to work on. The captain sighed and shook his head as he watched the shorter freshman follow his roommate around the court with his hand still raised in the air, demanding that the taller boy reciprocate his high-five.

...But at least Daichi could rest a bit easier knowing that the prank war was finally over.

"BLEGHH! ...WHO _THE FUCK_ PUT SAKE IN THE MILK CARTONS!?" The loud, booming voice of Coach Ukai exclaimed from the other side of the gym. The captain appraised the freshmen with a blank smile. Or they could all be fucking doomed at this point.

-

 Pranks:

 

(1)

 

 

(2) [www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1hv74j/standard_cup_prank_foiled_by_science/](http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1hv74j/standard_cup_prank_foiled_by_science/)

 

(3) 

 

(4) www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqlVWVA2MB

 


End file.
